Wednesday, July 27, 2016

July 28th, 2016


Truth be told, we're all broken. Someone in our life, at some point in time, let us down. I will be the first to stand up and admit this. I've never given myself the opportunity to heal from not one of my failed relationships until now. I've spent the last 9 months sleeping better, laughing more, and absorbing love, reigniting my own light. The freedom I've had not having to answer to any one person has been so new to me, but I'll admit that I miss being in love. 

Not that I'm 'looking for love', but I'm most definitely willing to welcome it with open arms. I've had to catch myself before repeating some mistakes that I know I have made in the past, like throwing unnecessary jabs and being vindictive or degrading. I know that, yes it will get my point across, but It will only harm our relationship in the long run. You can't take back hurtful words. The most important thing is to learn from experiences, both good and bad, and find your own prize winning formula to win at the game called life. 

The best way I've approached situations is to be completely candid. Lay it all on the line from the beginning. Be clear about what you want and don't want and let the other party decide whether or not they are willing to deal with such stipulations. Don't let your own insecurities over shadow things. I'm probably one of the most self conscious people you'll ever meet. I mean shit, most women are, and a man (or woman) that can play the game, WILL feed off of those insecurities making you question yourself even more. We constantly worry about what someone may say or think about us (as living over thinkers), which in turn limits us, stops us from reaching out highest potential. Not just in relationships either. 

For instance, I've been working on my book, but when I start to feel discouraged, or feel as though I'm not talented enough, I'll put it on the back burner. Then I'll come across some wild type confidence booster and be back on top of it like it's going to be the hottest book since Harry Potter. Ive never really had anyone outside of my family who pushed me to my full potential. Most of the time, we'll work toward his dream, and if and when that dream is obtained, then we can work on mine. Hence why I'm single. I have to find a happy medium. Someone who's just as about me and mine as I am about them. Someone who's priority is me first, so I won't feel so bad about going hard for them. 

Everything in my life goes full circle, as does the rest of the universe. Highs and lows, ups and downs. Nothing great comes from being comfortable. Ever. As of lately I had fallen back into a comfortable state. Once I put myself into and uncomfortable position, I began to see more and more blessings fall at me feet. 

The only thing I can say I took from my last relationship was that if I stay in one place, if I don't raise the bar for myself, I have nothing to reach for, and I will become complacent. If nothing else, he taught me that. Not sayin live beyond your means, but live with high standards so you have something to work for, if that makes sense. 

Set your standards for love, life, your dreams, and your career HIGH. If you have nothing to be proud of in your life, MAKE something you can be proud of and MAKE everyone pay attention. No one is going to give you anything, and if they do, you still have to work hard to keep it. 


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